Eighteen Months Into the Stop Smoking Journey
Posted on May 17, 2009
Filed Under Smoking | 1 Comment
Now that its been over a year and a half since I quit smoking
Not bad if I do say so. Most people ask me if I “cheated” any during that time – well of course I did! But not a lot. Specifically, there we’re 3 occasions that I indulged myself. The first time I had 1 drag off someone elses cigarette. Wow, what a high – that blast of nicotine was quite a kick.
The next time was about a month of so after the first, and I smoked about half a cigarette and passed it off to someone else (a smoker) who finished it off. And yes that first hit packed the same potent punch.
The last time was maybe another couple months after the second, and I had 2 drags. The first was the usual high, and the second was, well just the second. Actually didn’t taste all that good – left a more noticeable aftertaste than other times. Maybe that’s why I haven’t had another drag since those.
Some people say they will never allow themselves even one puff because they know they’ll get hooked again. And that’s okay if that works for them. In fact I can’t say that’s wrong to do because on past attempts at quitting, it’s been that one drag that got me back on the weed – not that the one drag can get you hooked – you’re already hooked – it just makes it easy to slide back into the habit.
But for me, those 3 times I just described, I did it just to prove I could, and that I would stay quit – that’s just how I’m wired. I won’t say it’s not risky – it’s very risky, but I chose to anyway. My decision to quit went beyond a surface desire, and after each of the times I “cheated” I re-iterated my intention to stay quit.
There is something I should add however. Over this past year there have also been about 4 times when an extremely stressful situation at work or home has made me consider having a smoke – and I purposely did not. My reasoning, was that I didn’t want to create the subconscious idea that it was okay to smoke when under stress – I’ve re-started again in the past for those reasons too.
Other than what I’ve just described, the urges to smoke, while not completely gone, are certainly diminished. The oddest thing is that I can still get winded going up a couple flights of stairs – not all the time, but often enough to be annoying. And it’s only with stairs – I can work out strenuously for a couple hours and not lose my wind, but those stairs sneak up on me – something to do with gravity I guess.
It caused me to worry for a while because I expected it to get better over time, but for many months it never seemed to vary. Only recently can I say I’ve noticed a slight improvement with stairs, so hopefully it will continue to gradually improve.
To be honest, I probably expected too much after smoking for 38 years. Reality is that even though you see amazing improvements in a short while, the body has some serious work to do in repairing all the lung damage. But improving it is, and I’ve no doubt my wind will return completely – even for stairs.
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I am very happy to know that you quit smoking before one year and you are good now. My daddy is a chain smoker and I want that he himself try to quit the smoking like you.